Taking what I've heard from reports and witness accounts of the unwashed masses, you can only vote for someone if you tie in to that candidate's demographic.
If you're black you have to vote for Obama.
If you're a woman, you have to vote for Hillary.
If you're a zombie, you vote for McCain
. . . a leprechaun (or goblinoid), Kucinich
. . . a ghoul/wraith/other undead flesheater, Giuliani
. . . a vampire, Romney
. . . a person looking to "Cross Over", Edwards
I just don't know where I fit in. . . I used to cross-dress occasionally, so do I vote for Hillary or Giuliani? I don't know. I would like to sspeak with the dead, so do I vote for Edwards, who had his own television show on the subject, or any number of undead republican candidates? The whole process confuses and baffles. I would like to just vote my conscience and vote on the issues, but I don't think that's allowable by law anymore. You not only have to affiliate with a party (generally, I like parties, especially with booze), but now you must subcategorize yourself. . . I dun lahk it.
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