I was reading reviews by the ever-so-snarky AV Club section of The Onion today, and realized, at some point, I finally lost some of my own snarkiness and pretension. But by doing so, it allowed self-righteous rage to creep into my personality, especially when it comes to others who exhibit pretension and snarkiness. The hipsters at the AV Club, and the comment trolls who add to the gooey coating of poseurity (yeah, I made it up, so what), are surely the target of my rage.
Take a film like Shrek the Third, which I saw this weekend with my five-year old son. Pap. Pure Pap. Pure, pathetic, pap and pablum to be sure. But I watched it. I laughed at the jokes. I snickered at the entendres. I was entertained. My son was entertained. My wife was entertained. It wasn't as clever as the first, but I go into any sequel with lower expectations.
The film doesn't soar to new heights, it just delivers what I expect from a Shrek film - a goofy storyline based on legends and fairy tales that have been skewed or warped. It doesn't explore new ground or give out a heartfelt message, but who says it has to? The hipsters, that's who. The hipsters decry that it halfheartedly blurts out a message. The hipsters whine that adults recognize the voices and the kids don't - so therefore it's marketed to adults. The hipsters sit in front of their keyboards, sipping an overpriced latte (I'm not condemning overpriced latte's, I have a soft spot for anything caffeinated, even if it comes from a chain with the name of Ahab's CO), and are shocked that anyone would want to spend money seeing this schlock fest of bodily humor inspired jokes and animated silliness.
It's not a high-minded masterpiece, it won't change the world, nor will it send you away from the theatre reflecting on how we shouldn't mistreat Ogres. I don't believe it's meant to do that. I believe it's meant to entertain and help shill merchandise. I get tired, right along with the hipsters, of seeing the big green face hawking wares, food, or services unrelated to the movie, or even the made up kingdom. It is a piece of pap, and that's how I approached it.
Okay, okay, you may have read my reviews of community theatre and are prepared to shout "hypocrite" or something at me. You might be right. But I doubt it. The hipsters that sign on and try to out snark each other need to go outside and get some fresh air. It might be hard, though, as they out hip each other with obscure brands of cigarettes, cloves, or even bidis. Take a deep breath and relax, your opinion doesn't matter, so shut the fuck up.
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