Recreant/Miscreant

New blog Post MamaFauver Foods

2009-12-28T17:16:00.000-05:00

As 2009 and the decade come to a close, we thought it would be fun to look at our five favorite designs we've done since 2005. While we've only been doing this on a part-time basis until now, we've done some memorable cakes for clients and friends. In this short little serialized list (and who doesn't like lists?) we've compiled a neat little rundown on the story behind each of these great and tasty works of art! Each day this week we will list our five favorite cakes of the last five years.

Read more

Open Source Creative programs

2009-12-19T05:57:00.000-05:00

http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33457

Since getting the new Hard Drive setup, I have decided to concentrate on Creative Open Source programs for my projects. I believe in the open source movement, dislike Adobe's monopoly, and figure I can always find good plug-ins, or request plug-ins, from developers to suit whatever needs I may run into.

I have used them before, including the last magazines I did which I used GIMP, Scribus, and Inkscape. There was a bit of a curve, but I was able to layout the magazine as needed and get it to the printer with no problems (other than some printing issues on previously created pages which I had nothing to do with). I had been using Adobe Products, but I no longer have a license for them nor do I have the cash to shell out for a Master Creative Suite. Sure, I COULD keep using the programs, but that would be technically stealing. I'd rather do things legally and be proud that I was able to learn three new programs with a bit of a curve. The open source programs are not as powerful in some aspects, nor are they as elegant or seamlessly integrated. However, they are much lighter weight and I just have to find workarounds for any extra stuff I wanted to do. They suit my needs right now.

I have also used NVU for web stuffs, and I find that a bit trickier than Dreamweaver, the WYSIWYG interface, anyway, so i found myself more into the code than the GUI. Coding is coding, and that can be done in a txt file, so sure, whatever. I have yet to explore the open source versions of Director or Flash (synfig), so I will let you know what's up when i figure them out. Honestly, i don't use Flash too much anymore, anyway. Maybe for little things, but there are so many free utilities out there and other options available I probably won't even bother (unless I get a client who REALLY wants something in Flash, and then I will gladly buy the package and license with the advance).

For video editing and composition, I am okay with Premiere and a neophyte with AfterEffects, so Jashaka (for Motion Graphics) and just installed Avidemux. It is foreign to me. However, I can use most nonlinear editing systems for the basics at least. I learned in the eighties with three VHS VCR's connected with AV cables then moved on to UMatics in college. The editing isn't about the software, it's about the art of the edit, which I am still tackling. but I love it. I just need footage to practice with.

For audio, I had always been fond of CoolEdit pro (and I learned with cassette tapes, then Reel-to-Reel) and was decent with a razor but had a better ear. I sucked on air, though, because I thought I was funnier and more clever than I actually was. I still have that problem mostly. So now i use Audacity, and I just upgraded to a new version. I have only used the multi-track editing capabilities lightly, and it takes some getting used to, but the most recent audio recordings were done with Audacity and a cheap microphone, so what do you expect.

That's it for now. Oh, we use OpenOffice for our Office Productivity. I've also used AbiWord. I like both of them, and they seem lighter weight than the heavier MS Word, but I did have to buy that with this system at the time to get .dosx - however, I believe OpenWrite can open dosx files now.

Well, that's my update for a snowy day in December. We have 6" at 11 Am and are expected to get 18+. Unheard of in December in southern New Jersey. So I get to go clean the kitchen and do some creative tinkering by making batches and batches and batches of cookies! Enjoy your day and I hope you do something creative today!

Brett

LULU coupon code - 20% paperback today only!

2009-12-18T04:03:00.000-05:00

http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=787484

COUPON CODE DEC18

Notes from the Chemo Chair, anyone?

Film vs. Digital

2009-12-17T05:10:00.000-05:00

In a flash of "Luddism" (or Luddite-ism), I have refused to jump on the digital camera bandwagon. I was never a great photographer, but I managed to squeak out some fairly decent shots with my trusty Nikon, which is approaching twenty years old. I recently had to buy a new camera, as the old Nikon body, which has been through Hell and back, finally broke down and I could no longer close the film compartment without duct tape. It still works but it needs service and I can keep it around as a secondary camera when needed. I still have the original lenses, a wide angle and a telephoto, and they are still clean and SORT of maintained. Not as well as I should have maintained them, but they still take a great pic.

I did try to jump on the digital camera train fairly early when I was cataloging jewelry in 1998, and studied a little under a photographer at an automotive parts manufacturer (I was in the Production department for packaging). He had a Nikon with a digital adapter, which was quite a chunk of change back in 99. Since then I have tried different point and click digital cameras, as well as a few digital SLR's. I still haven't liked them. The closest was a Canon Rebel I played with around Easter last year, as it came closest to my Nikon 6006 experience.

The trouble, of course, is the film. Film is expensive for someone like me, who has no money but a lot of passion. And I take a lot. I bracket photos. I waste frames for exposure. And this is where I SHOULD have a good Digital SLR, because the Digital waste is subsidized into the cost of the camera. I should note that I also love the fumes of a darkroom and the chemicals, though they do not love me, especially in light of recent pulmonary problems. But fixer - it turns me on.

My digital shots are worthless. For some reason, I have a block that doesn't allow me to compose, expose, or shoot how I want. I don't know why. Perhaps it's the viewfinder, perhaps it's the LCD screen on the back of them. Perhaps it is the chintzy electronic zoom, the auto focus (though I do use autofocus on the 6006), or the lightweight nature of the point and clicks, but I find that I can't take a digital photo to save my life.

Will a DSLR change things for me? I know I would go through at least 10000 bad digital pics before getting used to it, and the plus side of that would be the digital pics could easily be trashed. Of course, it may just be too much camera for me to handle to begin with, and perhaps I should just stay the course with my 35mm and buy film in bulk. I can't set up a darkroom because of the chemicals (I'm so sorry, fixer), and developing the film gets expensive, of course. I have a bag full of undeveloped film. Almost 50 rolls of film.

The other thing is just an aesthetic of grain of the film vs. the digital image. Sure there are many applications for whatever operating system to manipulate the image, and I am sure a talented artist can fool even the most discerning eye.

While my camera usage is limited to 135mm in the 80's, the Kodak disc camera (remember those), 35mm of various stripes and lightweight point-and-click digital cameras, I still prefer the Nikon 6006. It's sturdy, it takes a good picture, and above all I am used to it's controls and quirks. The new body for it only cost me $20 on Ebay, and the lenses are still supported, so long as they are nikkor. However, I think I need to take a step in one direction or the other.

I do not think that step will be DSLR in the near future. I would rather experiment with a medium format film camera, like a Hasselblad or Yoshica, though the Hasselblads are WAY out of my price range. Yes, they expense is still there, but I am more concerned with image quality and being able to take some breathtaking photos, and I do not think that digital is the right way to go artistically. While yes there are amazing photos taken daily with digital cameras, I know that for me I need something else.

So, I think, for the time being, I will keep on keeping on with my Nikon 6006 for my photography. It's more time consuming, but that psychological block I have with digital is not going to help my skill improve. In fact, I will try one of those 365 projects next year, yet all with film. There will be a delay, of course, between the actual shots and the scanning/posting process. (Yes, scanning). I believe I have rambled on enough.

Of course, if someone wants to gift me a D90 for "review", I wouldn't turn it down! ;-)

A list for December 16th, 2009

2009-12-16T17:55:00.000-05:00

Why babies could never be good spies
a list for 12-16-09

Feeding schedules
Gas pains
Inability to follow simple orders
Uncontrollable vocalisms
The constant need for comfort
unscheduled and immediate naps
Inability to use sophisticated devices
The "lie" reflex doesn't come until they learn to speak
The sweet smell of soiled diapers is pervasive and is an instant "tell" that a spy is in the midst.

Aftershock of Pneumonia

2009-12-09T03:56:00.000-05:00

I don't know if this will be long or short and I will just be dropping the bits of my brain directly into the blog. (Sorry about the short post from before, my mistake)

I was not feeling well a few weeks ago. In actuality, my breathing had really sucked since I had H1N1 over the summer. While the swines didn't kill me, they certainly curtailed any dreams of being a cross-country skiier or long-distance runner. To be honest, I don't think I've ever harbored those dreams. In a smaller yet more profound sense it did strike me that my livelihood and the thing I am best at, which is the unfortunate choice of being some sort of spoken word performer/storyteller. You know, one of those actors despite not having acted in anything since last December. My voice is a great asset, as is my breath control, and I know it and I know I have underutilized it which I believe has been a great detriment to my career. I have been able to use it for the delight of my children when I tell them stories, which is a treasure for all of us. I love doing it and they love hearing daddy's stories.

When my breath is taken away, whether by Hodgkin's pleural effusion when first diagnosed in 2002 (yet despite the breathlessness I was still able to give a fairly memorable performance as Banquo and choreograph the fights), to the recurrences where the disease centered on nodes in the lung. Vast amounts of chemotherapy and radiation therapy have weakened my lungs again and again. Of course, the years of smoking Camels and Marlboros did nothing to help my lung function, and that is a curse I gave myself. It should be noted however, that the smoking did not give or contribute to Hodgkin's, according to oncologists - there is no link - but damn did it affect recovery. I was born early with fluid in my lungs and had a lengthy hospital stay in Philadelphia for the first weeks of life and came down with case of pneumonia when I was two, requiring another lengthy stay in Philly again. So, from the beginning, my lungs were not the best specimens of human health. Living my life in polluted areas does not do good things for breathing, either.

Anyway, flashing forward to November 10th or so and I start to have a rattle in my lungs that is fairly nasty. I am immuno-compromised thanks to cancer and transplants - so I tend to pick up infections with clumsy ease. It felt like the beginnings of a chest cold or allergies or bronchitis. Another week and I feel worse and have a cow of fatigue sitting on my body. I stayed on a chair for a whole day, feeling like I just needed to get a little more sleep. The next two days I did feel a little better so I went to NYC for my third treatment of Bendamustine. Talked to the doctor about the chest crap, they tested for swine flu (in case I contracted it again thanks to my defective immune system), and gave me some Zithromax. Second day of NYC/bendamustine went as predicted and my fatigue, as predicted, did not go away. However, I walked several blocks to finally try to catch a cab. I should have had the lobby call one for me in hindsight. The cold wet air made me feel like death warmed over. I was cold, clammy, and couldn't stop coughing.

November 20th, a friday, was a doozy. I slept all day and had trouble getting up and around. So much that I ignored the dog so much that the poor girl pooped on the floor by the door waiting to be let out. Johnathan had a party to go to and Steph was going out for the evening to see a movie with friends. I promised to clean up as much as I could, which ended up being nothing. I was a useless gelatinous blob of mucous and pain. Steph suggested I call the doctor and I didn't, of course. I knew it would mean I would have to go in the hospital and I thought it would be foolish to go for something like bronchitis. Plus, I felt like doing NOTHING. Friends were coming over to help relieve some twin duties so both Steph and Johnathan could get out of the house for a few hours. Steph, especially, who was having an especially hard week, needed to get out to the movies and have a dfrink afterward.

Of course, life throws curves. . . all the time. 10 PM I got a call from the parent of Johnathan's friend, where he was staying for the evening. They were playing a game with toothpicks and she didn't get them all up from the carpet, so my boy of course stepped on one, driving it over half of an inch into his foot. Mike and Matt went to get him and they took him to the ER, where Steph showed up. After waiting four hours the docs finally pulled it and bandaged it.

Saturday and Sunday I declined more. By 2:30 Monday morning I could barely move. I went downstairs to the bathroom and it took me fifteen minutes (at least) to climb the stairs. I could NOT catch a breath. I woke Steph and told her to call 911. They got there, evaluated me and transported me to SJHS in Vineland. Put on oxygen and some morphione for the pain in my chest. I was diagnosed with pneumococcal pneumonia. I had pleural effusion as well as cardiac effusion. The main concern was that they felt the fluid around the heart was the main problem, but it turns out it was only because of thickening of the heart wall from all treatments and the bacterial infections. After a few days I was moved from ICU to the step down unit and I worsened. My breathing became ragged, I developed a fever, and my numbers plummeted. I needed more and more oxygen and still had unbearable fatigue. I was moved back to ICU and I decided I wanted to be transported to HUMC as soon as something was available.

Another bug was found in my system, another pneumonia, and my chest xray did not seem to improve too much. The secondary pneumonia is common with patients receiving Bendamustine. Anyway, the pulmonologist strongly urged I be put on a ventilator. I refused. I did improve enough to be moved to step-down, and after a few days in step-down I was transported to HUMC.

I was at HUMC for a few days and improved dramatically and was finally sent home on Monday. However, I am still recovering. I can't walk up stairs, I can only stand for a limited time, and my muscles have atrophied from being bedridden for two weeks (more). I am on steroids and four different prophylaxis antibiotics while my immune system tries to recover. The newest development is the blood sugar testing, thanks to the steroid induced diabetes. So far my sugar at hgome has been controlled enough and I haven't needed any insulin, but that could change.

I do know I am glad to be home, happy for the friends I have, and ecstatic to see my family again. I may have lost work, but I am alive and I can appreciate every breath I take. Thank you for being there for me, and I can only hope my bond with you grows stronger!

Probably a little too scatter-shot, but daytime TV and meds will do that.

alive

2009-12-03T05:43:00.000-05:00

I'm alive.

I was admitted to SJRH in Vineland for Pneumonia on the 23rd. Finally I have internet access again. I have lost some vauluable contracts which SUCKS.

More later when I don't start hyperventilating while thinkgin about it.

Shilling for my greater good

2009-11-19T17:17:00.000-05:00

11:47 on Saturday evening? Time to try to sell a tshirt or twelve! and FRAK CANCER

2009-11-14T18:48:00.000-05:00

http://www.zazzle.com/newfrakcancer_tshirt-235326519739866297

I took the design I made for CafePress and went to Zazzle. I make a minimum royalty on the design, so buy twelve! Please!

They make GREAT gifts for Thanksgiving! And Mondays!

Or just to tell someone you care enough to FRAK CANCER!

I admit - a marketer I am not. . .

Shilling for a living - books and audio recording of Radiation and Superpowers RT or forward please!

2009-10-23T13:31:00.000-05:00

I have Books for sale! hardcover, softcover, and downloadable! Damn The Cancer: Plays, Damn the Cancer: Notes from the Chemotherapy Chair (non-fiction), and Furies Fell (a play).

All here! http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=787484

Also, an audio sample of Notes from the Chemotherapy Chair on Multiply.

Have a great weekend, and please pass this along.

My plug for the day

2009-10-20T10:54:00.000-05:00

Support my (chemo) drug habit!

http://www.lulu.com/content/hardcover-book/damn-the-cancer-notes-from-the-chemotherapy-chair/7791611

New book

2009-10-15T17:53:00.000-05:00

I took someone's advice and collected my essays on cancer and having cancer, etc. and put them into a book to sell on Lulu. Right now there is either an e-book for 6.25 or a Hardcover for more than that. I don't care if you buy or not, but if you could at least pass on the link I'd appreciate it! (I'd also appreciate if you bought a first edition, too!)

http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=787484 - Damn the Cancer: Notes from the Chemotherapy Chair

Help out!

2009-10-15T10:46:00.000-05:00

Hey, I have a Lulu account and I have created a hardbound cover edition of my Damn the Cancer plays. Could you help out and spread the word or even buy three copies for your friends? It's lulu, so i only get a small bit of the money (except the download, I get $4 of the $5 listed). http://www.lulu.com/content/hardcover-book/damn-the-cancer-short-comedies/7790367

I thank and love you in advance!

Progressives

2009-10-13T10:34:00.000-05:00

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=175726262753

Nothing there yet.

Some rehash of my own

2009-09-02T18:17:00.000-05:00

I recently read an article on What Not to Say to a Cancer patient, which reminded me of my own take on it posted almost a year ago on Suburban Panic.

I've reposted it on my other blog site, Nusquam Ubi Sub Ubi. . . http://fauver.madpage.com/wordpress/?p=233

I thought I was being mean in one section, but really, I was being too nice upon rereading it.

Pardon to the Facebook and twitter people who have seen the link already.

New post, but it isn't much. . .

2009-08-25T19:50:00.000-05:00

http://fauver.madpage.com/wordpress/?p=225

Monday Morning Blog

2009-08-24T04:29:00.000-05:00

I am well-rested this morning, mostly. I do have some of my scrambled brains cobbled back together, which is a sign that the worst of the chemotherapy side effects are over. Only five more of these to go! Next chemo stop is September 15th & 16th. Hopefully a deadline won't drop in on that week. But if it does, I will manage, especially with help of family and friends, as usual. I really can't emphasize enough how much I love my family and friends, and it usually takes something like cancer to really have that appreciation come to the forefront. But then again, we don't care about the air we breathe until we can't breathe it anymore, so why should anything else be different?

Read more at my other blog.

Yes, it's pathetic, but why do I find it so damn funny?

2009-08-23T15:25:00.000-05:00

I tried to be lucid for this post, but it didn't work out too well

2009-08-23T08:34:00.000-05:00

I TRIED to be lucid - but this is what chemobrain does. . . http://fauver.madpage.com/wordpress/

MSKCC adventures: Days of Bendamustine

2009-08-20T06:02:00.000-05:00

Day "One", again, this time in a new facility.So my intrepid adventuring sidekick, Nate, who has medical problems of his own, took off from my home in Vineland and stopped at Wawa to gas up, grab some cold tea, and drive the hour to Trenton (Hamilton Square, actually) to pick up a Transit Train into NYC (Penn Station). The trips were pretty bland and nothing exciting happened. I finished "You Suck" by Christopher Moore and am halfway through "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". The problem with PPZ is that it's really a one-joke premise so far and I find myself not as excited as I am supposed to be. Meh. I guess when you deal with a type of plague you have yourself, you tend to be more critical of fictional plagues. We arrived in Penn Station and walked out the wrong side - d'oh! I knew better, too. So we walked around to the Mad Square Garden side and grabbed a cab. No cash cabs were available, damn the luck! Instead we had a bearded fellow by the name of Anis. Got to Sloan Kettering in average time, popped in to register and found out I was to immediately have a bone marrow biopsy - yay! Unscheduled as far as I knew. I was also informed they had been waiting for me since 11:30. Considering it was now 1:00 PM, I was late. Although in my defense, my actual appointment was for 1:45. So, they gave me the option of the manual cork-screw into my back or the new-fangled, ultra-expensive device they just got - you know, a new toy. I chose the new toy. I love the sound a drill makes when carving through flesh and bone, especially when I can hear it on both the inside and outside of my body. Still hurt when he hit the bone and crunched it as well as when they sucked the marrow for an aspiration. But it was over a LOT quicker. We're talking five minutes tops. I approve of this technology.

Docs had a phone conference to make sure I had all of my tests completed and legitimized, yada yada. He talked about HLA typing, and it doesn't seem that Sloan Kettering is on the same page as HUMC. Something to clarify later with both hospitals.

So then the true waiting game began. We bounced around to three different waiting rooms. Which you know, is ALWAYS fun. Didn't actually get chemo until five o'clock or thereabouts. They accessed my port, grabbed a handful of blood (vials of blood, that is) and pre-treated me with fluids, Zofran, and Dexomethosone. I needed something to eat, so I asked for some OJ and crackers, which I shared with Nate. They hooked up the bendamustine and I was out of there an hour later, feeling "slorshy". The nurse, Joann, told me to report at 3 the next day for more slorshy goodness. We grabbed a cab back to Penn Station, grabbed a quick bite at a Moe's inside the station and grabbed the train back to Trenton through thunderstorms. After another uneventful trainride, aside from the bouncing, jostling train car which made the slorsh slorsh even more, that is.

Got home around 10:30 feeling slorshed out, flushed, and had a bit of a headache. I did sleep well despite the weird dreams which I do not remember and the rock hard erections that kept waking me up. I've had that happen before with chemo. It's actually one of the "better" side-effects when I am able to use it for what is intended. When I'm not, it's like I overdosed on VJuice from TrueBlood.

Day Two of the clinical trial was really a lot more of the same as Day One, except no surprising flesh drills. I did notice that a) my arms were healing and not as itchy from that damnable eczema stuff, nor b) was I coughing as much. Probably an attribution from the Dexamethosone rather than the Bendamustine, though Doc Hamelin did tell me that it starts working within the first two treatments, so I am very hopeful about that. Oh, another thing I was told is that they are continuing to check on HLA matches, even with cord blood, but they are undecided about a second Allo transplant - they want to see how the Bendamustine works and possibly put off the transplant for another time or maybe never is need-be. They want to weigh everything positive and negative. So it just means yet another uncertainty in my treatment. Still looking for a match, though, just in case.

So I waited four hours in the waiting areas of Sloan-Kettering after uneventful drives, train journeys, and wild cab rides until I was moved to yet another area and had my chemo started at 6:15 PM. From 2:45 to 6:15 is not four hours, it's only 3:30, but it was still an inconvenience. Left feeling slorshy again, but not as much as I had packed water, almonds, fig newtons, and teriyaki jerky with me. Trust me, I know exactly what to bring to chemotherapy. I'm a frikkin expert. I slept the hour of Bendamustine. They knew I was pissed because they didn't drip it, they let is drizzle in. It made my head a little bloated, but it got me out faster.

I wasn't able to visit Carmen in the city this time, but next time. I took another wild ride to Penn Station, and a ride on Transit beck to Trenton that wasn't slorshy but was fairly crowded. I worked on outlines for Hamlet, as well as other projects for home improvement and other things, so it wasn't as unproductive as the day before.Another night of sleep, another flushed face, another bout of all-night stiffies.

One round of chemo down, five more to go. Cancer, you're one done SOB.

Did you like this one? I have more coming. Leave me a buck! or fifty cents. or twenty-thousand dollars. I don't mind.

Course of the day

2009-08-19T10:54:00.000-05:00

Waiting in Suite 7 for chemotherapy. Been here over an hour and it's not because of socialized medicine.

ugh, I hate to admit it, but I need help again

2009-08-19T04:23:00.000-05:00

So, of course, it's down to this again. . .

I'm looking for a little assistance in the transportation/food/lodging department for my frequent chemotherapy trips and visits. They are long days (so far) and plunge me deeper into fatigue. The train ride home after chemo was so damn bumpy I almosty blew chunks all over the seat. I was a little queasy and it didn't help that the train felt like it was on a paint mixer at points and at other points, going over a gravelly pothole filled road. Yes, I know it's a train, but just imagine if. . .

So, it's already put a pretty bad strain on the already tight finances, and I haven't been able to make jam or salsas yet to defray costs (a week or two when fruits and veggies are ripe enough), it has caused some wear and tear on vehicles, the gas issue is there, as well as the costs for parking, taxis, subways, and NJTransit trains. Then there is the question of eating. It is just such an added expense for me as well as taking precious time away from any work I might have coming in. So, could you spare a dime for a man who's down on his luck?

Sometimes. . .

2009-08-11T17:44:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to please someone, they turn on you and prove how much of a douchebag you already knew they were. . .

douchebags. . .

Stunning display of GvHD

2009-08-03T15:55:00.000-05:00

Well I have GvHD, I think, over a lot of my skin, maybe about 60%. It's itchy, red, and irritating. Does the GvHD mean I don't need chemo? Does it mean my own body is finally taking care of shit like it's supposed to do (after a transplant, I mean)? Probably not, but there is always hope.

I am irritaed right now at my printer, which prints one postcard (usually) before jamming. I haven't even gotten to 200 yet today. Only 800 and some to go. It's not actually printing the full postcard, just a mailing address.

In between deadlines right now. The last deadline was last week at some point, but the issue was finally uploaded on Friday evening. I was yelled at vociferously by the publisher because I said I would get it to the printer by the afternoon. I told him that it WOULD have happened if he hadn't changed so many pages around. Each time he would do that we would have to repaginate. The upload time to Box.net was atrocious (so he could see the proof). Anyway, the issue is done and out of my hands at this point. Northern NJ papers are due this week, and I had asked to get all material in to me by Aug 4, due to my associate being at Wizard World Chicago this weekend (I was supposed to attend as well, but I had a conflict with a wedding of a good friend which I am in - the wedding, not the good friend), so of course, I only have info for 30 of 70 pages. These papers always seem to be an afterthought for the publisher - oh yeah, we ARE doing those papers, too, aren't we? And I get stuck holding the dead fucking rat.

I have a doc appointment tomorrow for a fun fun bone marrow biopsy. Have I mentioned it's fun?

Thursday I have a trip to Memorial Sloan Kettering for a PET scan, a CT Scan, an EKG, and blood work. Not a lot of fun. I will be pretty damn tired.

Friday I will no doubt be working my ass off to get the issue uploaded, and I have a rehearsal dinner to attend that night.

Saturday is the wedding on the beach, and I can't wait. It shoukd be a lot of fun if not sweat-inducing.

Had a meeting with a prospective presenter of Hamlet. Looks promising but I have a lot of work to do on the proposal. Luckily I have some talented friends who have already signed on to help. Anyone else?

Updates to that Other Blog

2009-07-30T07:01:00.000-05:00

Sheesh, how many do I have. . . Too many, that's how many.

Anyway, I've added pages for plays.

They've all been forced upon the Multiplyers before, but since Multiply has the best way to broadcast to all of my networks, I post from here.

http://fauver.madpage.com/wordpress/?page_id=155

Shamless Plug

2009-07-29T13:08:00.000-05:00

By now you are probably getting tired of me and my shamless self-promotion, but I am pretty proud of the designs and I really do need your help!

So even if you can't buy one right now, could you pass on the link? I'd be appreciative! And if you DO buy a shirt, please send me a pic of you wearing it! (or drinking from a mug or slapping a sticker somewhere it shouldn't be, etc.)

Brett

www.cafepress.com/fauverarts2

Brilliant!

2009-07-29T11:12:00.000-05:00

I found this via Jennifer Gardner. . .

go ahead, fight me

2009-07-29T04:52:00.000-05:00

http://derylykt.mybrute.com

New Design - Ahh, frak it.

2009-07-24T11:26:00.000-05:00

http://www.cafepress.com/fauverARTS2/

Just thought of another design today, so I made it this afternoon and posted it.

Funding myself

2009-07-23T14:43:00.000-05:00

Jammin! (an unscientific poll)

2009-07-23T04:11:00.001-05:00

Thanks to le petit gateau (aka Boston Shellie), I am thinking about making jams again. I just want to know, by this unscientific study, which flavor would you most likely want, if you were to want any.

So which flavor of We Be Jammin Jam would you most likely devour and not share?

Jammin! (an unscientific poll)

2009-07-23T04:11:00.000-05:00

So which flavor of We Be Jammin Jam would you most likely devour and not share?

More Marrow

2009-07-22T06:08:00.000-05:00

Finally, some news

2009-07-22T03:50:00.000-05:00

I went to Sloan Kettering yesterday and met with my new doc, who had worked before with Goy. Very nice man who seems to be ahead of the curve on cancer treatments. I signed on to a clinical trial of bendamustine. It's a drug that had been used to treat several types of cancers in East Germany, yet nothing had really been written down or documented. The drug is FDA approved, but the trial is to study the effects on Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Well, to see the efficacy rate, side effects, etc. However, the drug is "exciting" and "promising", though, for legal reasons, I can't get excited or have them promise anything. Oh well. I am okay with it all.

I have testing (PET/CT, EKG, bloodwork, bone marrow biopsy) on August 6th, with treatment to start on August 11 (continue on the 12th) and then repeated every 28 days for 6 cycles (1 cycle is 28 days). This means the treatment schedule will be as follows (more for me than you):

The side effects are like side effects of other chemos, though they are supposedly well tolerated. I will find out.

Insurance, of course, won't cover travel, food, or lodging, and part of my insurance won't cover visit to NYC hospitals, but since it is a clinical trial, I really only have to worry about the incidentals. And that is still a bit of a worry.

More Health News. . . The WTF edition

2009-07-14T15:18:00.000-05:00

So Sunday I couldn't take thoughts and put them into words - the right words anyway. I could say the simple words but when it came to important words, like my address, the date, my sons' names. . . chicken. .. things like that, the words were malformed on my usually fairly articulate mouth. For about ten minutes. My friend, an EMT, was worried it might be a TIA, or mini-stroke (or transient stroke), and called 911 (with Steph). By the time the ambulance got to our house, I was fine and could speak clearly as I could before the "incident". I did have two 7&7's, hadn't eaten much that day (a cup of coffee and a tuna fish sandwich several hours before), and did have an anxiety attack ealrier thanks to the LOUD children and the chaos abound. I don't like chaos. at. all.

Anyway, to the ER of Regional Med Center. After bloodwork, EKG, chest xray and CT Scan of the head, still perplexed, but not concerned enough to put me in the stroke center. Still all very concerned. Still concerned enough to "keep me overnight for observation". Yah. Remind me not to fall for that one next time. Overnight became 48 hours of waiting around for doctors to tell me nothing.

Monday I had an MRI of the head and the found nothing. An ultrasound of the heart, which they found a weird valve. More bloodwork, and my sugar was kind of low, low cholesterol, and normal everything else. I saw a physical therapist and they evaluated me as perfectly fine physically. I then had to wait for the neurologist to come in at 4:30 to tell me they didn't know what was going on and that the episode could have been caused by stress, anxiety, yada yada. . . and thet he wanted to keep me for two more tests - an ultrasound of the carotids and an EEG. Grumble grumble. . .

Monday night I had a hell of a time sleeping, mainly because I needed to get home and do some work. I slept like crap and then, just when I had finally dosed off, the morning crew started shuffling in and making all sorts of noise. So no sleep for me. Instead, around 7:30 I was carted down to Ultrasound, and they were clear. Done, taken back to my room and no sooner had I put myself in a semi-comfortable position did the transport guy pick me up and take me to the EEG. The EEG wasn't ready but the woman doing the test pointed out that I had a LOT of brainwave activity. Of course I do, I have an anxiety disorder! I can't STOP thinking about shit.

Anyway, I was done testing by 10 and had to wait until 4:30 to see the doc so she could finally tell me they were discharging me but I had to come back on Thursday for them to look at me heart from the inside.

So, a fun few days of tests and no real results, just a doctor or two saying "We don't know! We theenk it might have been a transient stroke, so take some aspirin!"

The Pope of Darkness

2009-07-10T06:21:00.000-05:00

good or bad or I can't tell

2009-07-01T11:00:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems that the celbripocalypse is nigh. I hope Karl Malden didn't leave Earth without his American Express.

I've lost 45 pounds since February. It's a mixture of things - no steroids, working steadily, cutting three inches off of the dinner plates, influenza/recurrence. I'll take it. It means I can fit into sizes I haven't seen since my wedding. I can wear large shirts comfortably - with room to spare! It's weird.

I'm still gettng out of breath when I do anything.

I am being referred to a Doctor at Sloan Kettering in NYC for new treatment with "no side effects". It is in quotes because I don't believe it yet. Two days every month for three to four months, possibly longer if they can't find a donor.

Getting new floors and going deeper in debt. however, the carpets here are disgusting, dander and dust filled bacterial breeding grounds.

Found a possible artist for a story I've written.

That's all for today.

Maybe.

Guess who the 37-year old man in the article is. . .

2009-06-29T10:42:00.000-05:00

http://www.pressofatlanticcity.com/news/breaking/article_cc118ccc-64de-11de-b857-001cc4c002e0.html

Okay, you guessed it. . .

The Flu, continued. . .

2009-06-29T05:37:00.000-05:00

JUST received confirmation that the flu virus I had a week and a half - two weeks ago was indeed the H1N1 virus, better known as Swine Flu. Damn pigs.

Flu Type A

2009-06-23T11:52:00.000-05:00

Just got back from a six day stint at Hackensack university Medical Center. Flu, Type A. Couldn't breathe. Really sucked.

More later.

marrow donor needed. . . again

2009-06-16T16:17:00.000-05:00

So I finally made it to Hackensack today to find out what they want to do to me.

My previous donor is unavailable, so the plan of just feeding me more lymphocytes is out the window, which sucks a lot.

It sucks a lot because it means I have to have another bone marrow transplant.

I remember the first one sucking, so I don't think this one will differ much.

The thing I don't know is if they will attempt to match the new marrow or the old marrow. I do know that my DNA will change, yet again.

So I need a new donor. Hey, you know what? The National Bone Marrow Registry is in the middle of a "Marrowthon" where it's no cost to register. FREE! How cool is that? You get to possibly save a life AND it doesn't cost you anything! Go NOW to www.marrow.org.

There are three drugs that I may be taking but I can't remember the names. Probably start by the end of this week.

I'm tired. More later.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

2009-06-02T11:51:00.000-05:00

Douchebags everywhere!

Frakkin moveable deadlines.
Got the biopsy results, and it is indeed Hogkin's - Frak. �I suspected it yet hoped it was not. �Oh well. �More treatment this summer.
That is all.

YouTube suspends JREF

2009-03-31T06:07:00.000-05:00

Relinked from Suburban Panic. . .

http://suburbanpanic.com/2009/03/30/youtube-suspends-jref/

Seems YouTube is suspending accounts of James Randi, as well as other skeptics.

funny

2009-03-04T12:11:00.000-05:00

I have been going through some old stories that I started and found one about the Jersey Devil I started to write (but never finished) in June of 2005. The word count where I stopped: 666. I wonder if I did that on purpose.

Wednesday, 2.18.09

2009-02-18T04:00:00.000-05:00

He who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger.

Michael is walking. . . mostly. He walks more than he crawls or cruises right now. I guess he got tired of Morgan stealing his toys and running away.
I went into it on my other other blog about the production troubles of firewire and stuff so I won't go into it here. However, I was thinking of returning the 4-pin to 6-pin cable but I dropped the camera on the concrete floor last night before bed. The cable was attached to the camera. The camera is fine (it seems) but the cable 4-pin end broke. Frick Frack Fruck.
I'm tired.
I have several piles of laundry facing me today.
Despite the weather being fairly decent this season, I am through with winter. I want spring. Now, dammit!
I am anxious to start editing Stringer and X but I want to wait for the rest of the footage. I think I may need to reshoot two interiors, as well, from looking at the footage. While I like the whole creative process of being a pocket change "auteur" I don't actually like setting up the sound, lights, or shots. Well, maybe the shots. I like the whole process as a well-rounded experience. However, when it comes to the editing session, I think that's where my passion lies. Some people have passion for playing guitar, others being on the stage, and even some who have it for digging deep into coding. . . Mine lies in taking raw footage and assembling clips to tell a story. Okay, I'll stop now.

He who have feet that smell and nose that run built upside-down.

Monday, oh you fantastic Monday, 2.16.09

2009-02-16T04:03:00.000-05:00

Can't get enough of Sham-WOW

Had a fire in the toaster oven this morning. Pop-Tarts are extremely flammable. Here's the quick story. . . I pop the tarts in the oven, set it for medium. I come back and they have barely been warmed. I set it for light and take bottles to the boys. I change two diapers that have very large turds and set each one to roam around the living room until I can get their breakfasts ready. I go in to the nursery to drop the turdy diapers in the diaper sausage maker and come back; I immediately notice the smoke and smell. My six-year old is sitting on the couch, just focused on something else. I run into the kitchen and see smoke pouring out of the toaster oven. I grabbed the fire extinguisher, pull the pin and. . . I can't figure out how to trigger it. I push the top and it goes off into a cabinet. Now realizing HOW it works I open the toaster oven window and pull it away from the wall (in reverse order) and flames shoot out letting off a nice wave of heat on this cold morning. I blast the oven and it's out, but smoke is everywhere, as well as particulate from the extinguisher. But the fire's out. Steph grabs the kids and puts them back in their nursery where there isn't any smoke but tuirns on the fan and opens the window. We open up all of the windows that actually open and try to air out the place. I must admit the cool breeze coming in from the windows was bracing and felt quite nice compared to the blast furnace from the little kitchen fire. No damage except to the toaster oven and the can opener (the electrical cord melted a bit), but the fisrt floor has the stench of smoke. I Febrezed it once and I'll do it again later. After I go out and get a new can opener and toaster oven. One that doesn't have a crappy timer that doesn't work.
Michael walked a lot yesterday. Halting little steps but he was walking! Only a bit more than three months after his fraternal twin.
Johnathan had a nice fit of puking yesterday morning. As children often do, he didn't make it to the bathroom in time, so I was cleaning a carpet at 7 AM.
It seems FORD decided to cancel my directpay account without notice. Soooo I'm late with a car payment again.
The back and forth with the mortgage, our personal crisis, has been averted yet again.
I want to impose atheist law in this country, or at the very least agnostic law. Yes I know there is no such thing, which makes it as absurd as Imposing islamic law or basing laws on the book of Leviticus. I like shellfish, dammit!
Today is day two of Celexa. I am on half-doses for the week. I had some depressive attacks over the past week. Yesterday and Saturday were pretty bad with the depression and anxiety. It used to be about cancer and treatment, now the anxiety and depression is about survival.
Trying to rewrite the cancer stuff for a one-man show type of thing. I think it's called a monodrama.
What DO you do with a drunken sailor, anyway? I'm sure he'd make quite a mess in the bathroom.

Although the Magic Bullet is best.

workshops

2009-02-15T05:21:00.000-05:00

While most of my LJ and Multiply friends are outside of fifty miles of me, I thought I'd post a quick message here anyway. These workshops will be in the Vineland, NJ area.

I am holding four 8-week workshops starting in March for playwriting and acting.

The playwriting takes the writer through scenario writing to the completion of a one-act play. We work on character, dialogue, plotting, and above all, telling a good story. The workshop culminates with live readings of the completed work (although this is optional).

I am also holding two acting workshops and a scene study workshop. Each of these also culminates in a live performance TBD.

For more information, contact me at brettfauver@gmail.com or 856.265.3687.

shaksper

2009-02-06T05:47:00.000-05:00

Any interest in Othello/Much Ado/R.U.R.?

Also, check out http://failblog.org/2009/02/05/k-mart-fail/

In an Othello state of mind

2009-02-04T05:57:00.000-05:00

O, beware, my lord, of jealousy!
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on.

Good Morning, 1/16/09

2009-01-16T04:14:00.000-05:00

Johnathan is quite popular with the fifth grade set. . .

Today Johnathan missed his bus, again, so I drove him to a stop further down the line. He got out of the car and was greeted by several fifth or fourth grade girls. As they realized who was getting out and standing at their stop with them, it was quite something to see their little faces light up and say his name with such glee. There were also a couple of boys his age, maybe a little older, who seemed to think this kid (Johnathan) was the equivalent of a first-grade Fonzi, sans leathers. One kid ran to him and started running at the mouth about Johnathan now knowing where he lives and visiting and yada yada yada. Johnathan's response was to exclaim, "Alright! Alright!" and walk past him towards the girls and approaching bus. I'm not worried right now, but if he keeps at this rate he'll be a cougar treat by the time he's a late teen.
I need gloves. I can't find my trusty pair of superwarm gloves.
I've been loving my lunches of Spinach Salads. . .
On the fence about submitting a resume to direct Nunsense locally. Don't know if it is worth my time or worth it to interrupt my already shaky plans.
Nanny was out yesterday and is out today, probably will be out Monday. She'll also be out for a week or two in about a month. So now I'm the nanny.
I'm looking for a well-to-do Cougar to take me in as an assistant companion, so long as she funds my projects. . .
I am baking a cake for the boys' party tomorrow. Well, baking it today when the boys are napping, which should be about 10:30 or 11:00. I love watching them interact and talk to each other. Fills me with lots o love. Except the biting. It looks sweet as Morgan reaches in to kiss his brother until the scream happens and I see the teeth marks.
The twins turn one today! I let them sleep in until 9. It will screw up their sleep schedule, but it was nice, if a little worrisome, that they didn't wake me up at 6. (Not that 6 is that bad, but I've been super tired for the past. . . twelve months.) However, they are pleasant, smiling, talkative toddlers this morning.
I sat in on a writing session of Idiot Box last night. Hopefully I'll be DP on the next few episodes. I have some idea for a cleaner, faster look. I think I contributed a few funny one-liners. For some reason, most of my humor last night centered around poop. . . or sex. But not both at the same time.
I'll see you all on the other side of the weekend. Here's a pic of the boys I took while writing this:

Wait, what's the temp right now?

2009-01-15T05:14:00.000-05:00

What's the temperature right now? Oh, it's negative. Gotcha.

Good Morning, 1/15/09

2009-01-15T04:49:00.000-05:00

We have a biter, repeat, we have a biter.

Johnathan kept to chores and cried when we wouldn't let him learn how to clean the bathroom. I relented and showed him how to clean the sink and toilet. Tonight he'll do the floors and bathtub. I told him and gave him a short example, but he did the rest himself. I did have to scrub the toilet in one section he missed (I had him squirt the blue cleaning liquid around the bowl and scrub until the blue turned white - he missed a spot), but he did a good job cleaning AND he thought it was fun. This is glorious news!
The boy had a much better basketball practice and was able to dribble a bit better as well as bounce pass a little better as well. His shots are getting closer and he actually made a basket. I think one or two more practices he'll be ready to play a game. Problem with that is there are two games in between those practices. We'll see if he makes it through the game on Sunday. He already told me that he isn't going if he feels sick, which I know is his way of saying he doesn't want to play the game.
While at practice, Steph tried to screw Morgan's crib's "gate" so he couldn't climb out. She put both boys in Michael's crib and went into the basement to grab the 3" screws and heard a horrible scream from Michael. She ran upstairs and saw Morgan opening his mouth and clamping down on Michael's arm. Morgan got into a little trouble. Michael has six welts, perfect little sets of Morgan's dental imprints around his body - arm, thigh, calf, nipple. . . Today you can still see the imprints but the previously red marks are now black and blue. Damn kids.
Figuring out cheaper ways to produce higher quality video with my less-than-professional video equipment. All of the tips and tricks I found were ones I already knew about, but I have been squirreling away little bits and pieces of makeshift equipment for two years, so I am almost set. I did find a neat resource on how to build a steadicam apparatus with a few pipes, weight, and some fittings. I am pretty sure I can do that, as well as make a crane. The next short doesn't really need either the crane or the steadicam, so they can wait. The script I'm working on is going through a major change as I had a revelation on character and plot. It's a typical story, though, for me. Something that seems to be one thing but is actually some sort of horror. Will death be involved? Does the Pope shit in a Catholic toilet?
This next short I do intend on taking to festivals, so it has to be as perfect as I can get under $40. (I know, the budget went up from last post!). I am not counting the gracious sponsorships from Mr. Thompson and Mr. Honachefsky, but they are going toward another project - that is, I spent the money on weaponry.
Why is my dog barking?
I got very little sleep thanks to Morgan who awoke at 11 PM screaming in pain and again at 3:30 AM. I took him to my chair and sat with him for hours until he collapsed. I think I passed out first, though. It wasn't a night of much sleep, though. The nanny called in sick today, which meant I had to cancel the teaching job I had for today. I didn't feel like dealing with the germs and attitude anyway. I get enough of that from my wife and boys.

Soylent White is made from paper!

Good Morning, 1/14/09

2009-01-14T05:28:00.000-05:00

I am in need of blogging like I need another port-a-cath.

I need to borrow a shotgun microphone for a week. Anyone do me a solid?
Blu-ray doesn't seem much different than regular DVD to me, but then again, I am only connecting it through standard RCA cables.
Morgan, the walker, is now becoming Morgan, the crib-climber. I didn't think they were supposed to do that for a while. What the hell?
I need to go outside and clean up dog-poop. I hate cleaning up dog-poop. However, I'd rather scoop the poop than clean the bathroom. I think that's just the worst ever.
Fine, fine. I'm twittering, already. Tweet, tweet. @brettfauver.
I need a shower. Stinky everything. Maybe it will keep the flesh-eating ghouls away.
Johnathan was excited to do chores yesterday. His motivation was money. He did eight chores and wanted to do more. I hope it holds for longer than one day.
Mr. J has basketball practice tonight. I am not taking him, Steph is. I get the babies tonight.
I have a few extra bucks, so I'm thinking about investing in a newer video capture device to recapture Perfetto and Beautiful Humanity footage, as well as the next $20 project I'm working on.

Flush the port. FLUSH THE PORT!

Stuff I did

2008-12-22T17:09:00.000-05:00

Make BOLD the things YOU have done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars (it was accidental)
3. Played in a band (Hot Bread! okay, so we technically never played, but the song names were pretty damn cool)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain (or hiked up a mountain)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang/played a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (the scene was cut but I was still filmed and paid)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Made a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

testing

2008-12-22T07:00:00.000-05:00

Will THIS post be eaten by Multiply, too?

Press of Atlantic City story

2008-12-22T06:54:00.000-05:00

http://www.pressofatlanticcity.com/182/story/353188.html

She wasn't kidding when she said they would cut the story down completely. Oh well. Publicity is publicity, even if it's for. . . well, nothing, I guess.

Good Morning - 12/19/08

2008-12-19T04:01:00.000-05:00

Screw the internet, I need to satisfy my true addiction this morning - caffeine. (I almost wrote nicotine, but I haven't had a cigarette in seven years)

Nanny called in sick this morning at 7:40. Still has remnants of the flu. Wouldn't have been so bad but I actually had a job for today (or half the day) teaching third graders. I also had to take the twins to the doctor and see Johnathan's holiday program. I'll still take the twins to the doctor, I need to work my biceps anyway. Nothing like baby curls to strengthen the arms.
I was up four times overnight. The first time was to give Morgan a change of diaper and a bottle of milk. The second time was when my entire body (or so it seemed) flared up with itchiness, despite taking an oatmeal bath at 10 PM. The third was when Johnathan peed in bed, soaking the sheets and his mother (he sometimes sneaks up to our bed in the middle of the night) - I'd say she was pissed, but that would be a very poor pun. Nothing like changing sheets at 4:15. The last time was 6 AM, when Michael was screaming for a diaper change and a bottle, which woke up Morgan. Okay, so I was up three times. . .
They are still teething and we can see more teeth coming through the gums. Probably what is making them so cranky. Morgan has seven teeth, and Michael has four or five.
Michael ate a piece of Oreo cookie this morning. Johnathan has eaten his last cookie in the living room. . .
Did some writing yesterday - it felt nice.
Don't make me throw my shoe at you.
This means you Shellie.
Other than what I've written, I've got nothing.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Good Morning, 12/15/08

2008-12-15T06:43:00.000-05:00

I think I missed Sunday. It did not exist for me.

I really have to take issue with a friend who says kids are dumbasses because they believe in Santa. I believe in letting my child be a child and not worrying him with that issue when so many more are more important. For instance, I'd rather him believe some fat dude with a white beard and a red outfit delivers presents to him as a reward for good behavior rather than believing holding a gun makes him more powerful. . . Before you knock me as anti-gun, let me state I do own several of the weapons.
I am thinking that Hawaii might be a good choice of places to live.
Asia. A simply awesome reminder of the early eighties. I remember walking to school with my SANYO walkman knock-off, listening to the cassette. . .
Maybe I need to refuel and grab some Quiet Riot, as well.
Had a weird dream involving a woman I know but haven't seen in a while. It was sensual - the thing is I never held any of those feelings fer her.
The dream also had appearances from the following: My Dad (first on a screen, then walking with me through white halls of a hospital like structure), Lady (my parents' dog), two of Lady's puppies (still puppies after ten years), and some hooligan/thugs that I started a fight with. I NEVER start fights, so WTF?
Don't tase me bro!
I wish I knew what I could do for a job. I realize I have no skills, but that didn't stop President Bush. . .
I'm at a loss. My life, at the moment, just isn't that exciting.
Did I mention I ran into my friend who is doing rewrites for a movie being filmed in New Zealand? I did!
So I guess that was the excitement for this month.

Mom always said don't play ball in the house.

of course

2008-12-11T12:49:00.000-05:00

Since I announced I am closing my cafepress store, someone emails today about the Swearengen's Pride (Loopy) items and wants one with it printed on a thong. . .

All I can say to that is. . . okay.

Good Morning, 12/11/08

2008-12-11T05:35:00.000-05:00

Whoops. I skipped a day. I WAS pretty busy yesterday. . . So here's a red eye for your addiction.

The nanny/sitter has spoiled Morgan. I had him falling asleep pretty much on his own, but now he won't go down unless cradled in her arms.
I had four calls for job prospects yesterday. If they shake out like previous prospects, I should still remain on the unemployed/disabled list for a few more weeks, at least.
The AC Press interview went well, though I talked more about cancer than I wanted to. However, that's what the article is going to be about - the cancer I went through and what I'm doing now. It could have gone a bit better and I'm really not comfortable with my picture in the papers anymore. Bah. I'll deal with it.
I've done too much for free in my life. What did I get out of it? Cancer. Fucking cancer. Fucking Karma is BULLSHIT.
Goddamn monkeys keep stealing my cookies.
The client appointment WILL lead to work. Not much, but even a little work is good work.
My oldest son (still not used to THAT) had basketball practice last night. He is UNCOORDINATED. Just like his dad.
ALLcaps still BUG mE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GEhQ1TQ4K8&eurl=http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=502640272&ref=mf&feature=player_embedded
That's the theatre company my cousin was a founder of. It's a pretty funny video.
Speaking of my cousin, Cyrano will be on PBS's Great Performances in January.
I think there is something in my ducts causing me such throat and lung discomfort. Or it's an allergy to cats.
I'm looking for a good idea. I'm fresh out.
I will be closing my cafepress store at the end of the year. The CafePress system sucks and I don't make enough to sustain it.
lay on Macduff, and damned be him ethat first cries hold, enough!

A red eye is better than a brown eye, depending on who you are.

Good Morning, 12/9/08

2008-12-09T10:24:00.000-05:00

It's a jump to the right. . .

I had a fantastic doctor's appointment today. I am back on steroids - LOW dose, Azithromycin, and Advair.
My lungs sound fine, so the coughing is probably due to post-nasal nastiness.
The mean old nurse gave me four vaccinations - tetanus/diptheria, pneumococcal, polio, and influenza Type B. They didn't hurt at all. I was surprised.
Cholera is making a comeback I hear. Want to hear my solution? Don't shit where you drink and don't drink where others shit.
I lost ten pounds in 12 days. Mainly from steroid dosage drop, but I'm sure the spinach salads contributed somewhat.
Anybody want a dog? She like to poop and pee on concrete floors, which happen to be the same floors of my office area. Doesn't matter how many times she's been out, she loves to come down to the basement and poop/pee whenever she can. We try to keep her out, but sometimes she is able to slip down here.
Sure I'm getting healthier, but what the fuck am I supposed to do for my "new normal?"

Dammit, Janet!

Good afternoon - 12/8/08

2008-12-08T11:50:00.000-05:00

Bojangles? I shot him dead fi' year ago. Ain't no Bojangle nuthin now 'less you consider the clankin' a' his bones. Heh. He Bone-jangle now.

You're still a bunch of fecal matter tossing primates to me.
Today is my second birthday, my bone marrow birthday. I am two, at least my immune system is. Consider me reborn.
Ask me about my fried pickles.
Zombies get very mad when you kick them in the nuts.
Bill O'Reilly is still flaming the fires of the Holiday Culture War! Instead of being "Christmas-like" by spreading a message of cheer and positivity and accepting ALL messages, he's harassing those who wish to speak freely. So in turn, I feel the need to harass him.
To celebrate my BM day (not bowel movement - that's everyday), I've reposted my Neoplastic Residue blog here
The sitter was here all day so I was able to get some work done. I updated my portfolio, got the oil changed in the car, and several loads of laundry have been washed, dried, and folded.
Last night I came home from performance, exhausted, and collapsed on my chair. I was pretty excited about catching the 4th quarter of the Pittsburgh-Dallas game. Then I fell asleep.
Some vaccines have MSG. Does that mean I want another after an hour or so? (I admit, I stole the joke from "Waldorf".)

And Bonejangles, he did dance. Bonejangles he did dance on your grave at night. And Bonejangles, he did die. For no other reason there were for him to live this lie of life. He did die.

Guten Morgen, 12/3/08

2008-12-03T04:38:00.000-05:00

Insert somewhat clever blog-related prattle here. . .

I need 4 days of uninterrupted rest.
Crucible went well last night. . . sort of.
I am exhausted. I need to learn to say no.
I was lured home early with the promise of sex and all I got was a disgruntled snore.
I wanted to rest a bit today, but since the sitter is coming, I have a list of tasks to try to complete before 2PM.
Blogging was not one of them.
I have written a lot of "I's" today.
I'm certainly becoming more firm in my "secular humanist" way of seeing things, except that I loathe labels and boxes. Which would explain why my life is such a cluttered mess of eclectic junk.
I think I have an ear infection. Most likely because I just claimed that I rarely, if ever, get them. Maybe there IS such a thing a Karma.
I need 4 days of uninterrupted rest.

And insert closing tag that loops back around to the semi-witty comment from above. have i mentioned I need some rest?

I know I could search Google, but

2008-11-07T10:32:00.000-05:00

Instead of sifting through the info, I thought I could ask here. . .

I'm looking for general information on flight training. Not commercial jets, but smaller planes and aircraft. Are there any particular requirements before taking lessons? How much do they, on average, cost? Does it matter about health history? Things like that.

I will probably call a flight school around here, but it's hard to talk on the phone with the kids crying or getting into things they shouldn't. Thanks.

My (worthless) endorsement for tomorrow.

2008-11-03T04:15:00.000-05:00

Normally I would keep my vote quiet, as it is secret ballot and my vote is MY vote, not for others. This year, I said screw it. This is for the local, state, and national elections.

In Vineland, there are three ballot questions.

One. . . Voters to approve state bonds payable from state appropriations.

Right now voters do not need to vote on whether or not the city can float a bond. This question would require the city to hold a public vote when they want to float a bond.

My vote: YES.

Two. . . Provides that method of selection and appointment of certain municipal court judges be set by statute rather than by the Constitution.

My vote: NO.

Three. . . Shall the city of Vineland construct a dual fuel simple cycle generating unit at down station and/or appropriate alternate site within the city of Vineland and integrate such facilities into the city's electric generation system for the public and private uses of this municipality and its inhabitants?

This was tricky. It doesn't state what the dual fuel simple cycle generating unit would burn. The main plant in Vineland burns coal, which is oh so friendly. I don't mind that too much, but I would like to see them instead incorporate alternative fueling options into the existing site, perhaps buy a farm that is currently not producing (there are quite a few) and build an array of windmills, or an array of solar collectors, or perhaps a combination of both. The VMEU recently received $8b and are looking for an additional amount of money, paid by the taxpayers, for this dual-fuel cycle generator. So, without all of the information required and knowing that "greener" technologies aren't in the picture (the financial director of the VMEU stated publicly that alternative energies are too costly and that we don't even know if there is really an energy crisis or global warming. I say fart on him. Why not invest in new energies anyway? They pollute a lot less than fossil fuels, and if you've ever been to New Jersey, you might notice the air and water quality isn't exactly. . . clean.

My vote: NO.

Local -- members of the Board of Chosen Freeholders.

Democrats have held a majority for many many years. While three Republicans being voted in would certainly be a blow to the perceived status quo, it wouldn't change the majority.

The candidates are James R. Sauro (R), Thomas L. Sheppard (R), James R. Swift (R), Jane Jannarone (D), James A. Dunkins (D), William F. Whelan (D), and Robert W. McQuade (Crime Free County)

My votes: McQuade (Crime Free County), James A. Dunkins (D), and Thomas L. Sheppard (R)

Yes I split my vote, but I am allowed. I have no master but me.

Sheriff

I really don't give a shit who wins this for Cumberland County.

Those running: Michael F. Barruzza (R), Robert A. Austino (D), and Edward C. Webster (no party affiliation)

Normally, my knee jerk reaction would be to vote for Webster. I'm not. I'm voting Republican on this one. Michael F. Barruzza gets my vote.

Surrogate

I'm not even sure what the surrogate does. Carries the baby for a willing couple that can't conceive/carry? I don't know, so I'm not even going to vote.

It's Marchand (R) vs. Rainear (D)

Maybe I'll just flip a coin. or write in something.

House of Representatives, 2nd District NJ

Frank Lobiondo, incumbent, (R)
David Kurkowski (D)
Gary Stein (Rock the Boat)
Peter F. Boyce (Constitution)
Jason Grover (Green Party)
Constantine Rozzo (Socialist Party USA)

Lobiondo is the incumbent, and I think he sucks. I don't like him, his policies, or his smug, sallow features. I know, not a real reason to vote or not vote for someone. I am sure he is a nice person outside of the political arena, which is yet again, not a reason to vote or not vote for someone. He was against the bailout, so he has that in his favor. Actually, he's not a horrible congressman, but he has been there for a fairly long time and I feel that all incumbents need to be flushed in favor for new blood and new ideas. He did, however, in 1994, sign a pledge to stup running for Congress by 2006.

I don't think we need another Democratic Congressman in the House right now, either. Kurkowski doesn't light any fires. He just seems like another Democrat running for office, which does not thrill me. Again, this is all based upon my opinion.

Gary Stein of the Rock the Boat party. . . Never heard of him or what he's about. I did read this. . . http://www.votesmart.org/npat.php?can_id=108022#11301 so I'm a little better informed. Not bad on a lot of the things, though. . .

Peter F. Boyce of the Constitution Party. . . http://www.votesmart.org/npat.php?can_id=108019 Seems to be the right wing of the neoconservative party. . . Um. . . No.

Constantine Rozzo, Socialist Party USA. I've voted for him in the past. Not this year. http://www.votesmart.org/npat.php?can_id=43376 I actually DON'T agree with what he'd increase, so I don't know why I ever voted for him in the first place. Maybe the crazy mustache.

Jason M. Grover, Green Party. I like him. I like him personally and politically. I think he's down to earth enough that he would be a damn fine representative. http://www.newmenu.org/jasongrover.

My Vote: Jason Grover

US Senate

Dick Zimmer (R)
Frank Lautenberg (D)
Daryl Brooks (Poor People's Campaign)
Sara Lobman (Socialist Workers Party)
Jeffrey Boss (Boss for Senate)
J.M. Carter (God We Trust)
Jason Scheurer (Libertarian)

My Vote: Jason Scheurer (Libertarian)\

US President

John McCain, (R)
Barack Obama (D)
Ralph Nader (I)
Roger Calero (Socialist Workers Party)
Jeffrey Boss (Vote Here)
Brian Moore (Socialist Party USA)
Gloria LaRiva (Socialism and Liberation)
Bob Barr (Libertarian)
Cynthia McKinney (Green Party)
Chuck Baldwin (Constitution Party)

My Vote: Barack Obama (D)

I actually decided this carefully. I did not want McCain in the office, nor Palin as VP. But this isn't a vote against McCain. It is a vote for Obama. He may end up being the worst president in history, but he'd have to work very hard at that (see: George W. Bush, Andrew Jackson, others). He has great charisma, he is a wonderful speaker, and a very smart man. he may end up corrupted by the systm he is trying to change, but then again, he may actually be able to fix some of the problems Mr. Bush did in the past two terms. I believe that he can restore the US once again domestically and internationally, and actually protect the Constitution of the United States.

That's my two cents.

THIS one is for flyinglobster

2008-10-14T05:18:00.000-05:00

Forgot this one. . .

One is for flyinglobster, one is for mcpierce

2008-10-14T05:01:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you need a good laugh, and I received a FWD today that had me in tears. I have copied some of my favorites. . .

difficult

2008-09-26T13:41:00.000-05:00

One of the hardest parts about today was telling my son that his pop-pop was dead. Broke my heart.

more on dad

2008-09-26T09:44:00.000-05:00

probable cause of death was heart attack because of position of body.

Again, I ask a question to the void. . .

2008-09-21T04:40:00.000-05:00

Would it not be better to "bail" out homeowners instead of the banks? Since Washington is going to use taxes for it anyway, why not payoff some or all mortgages (of primary residences) - pay them to the banks on behalf of the homeowners. The banks get their money, the homeowners don't have the monthly mortgage payment sucking all of their income, the government shows how powerful yet "benign" it really is. Everybody wins - except renters, those with no mortgage, the homeless, and taxpayers. The extra money could then be thrown back into the system, reigniting the economy. It's using socialism to spur capitalism. One big Evil Socialist moment followed by months, if not years, of Good free market mania with big ticket items being bought, rising consumer confidence, and more job creation (with the possibility of income stimulus as well). The government just takes care of the big issue and then people can spend again, banks will loan again, jobs will be created by the money thrown back into the economy, and CEO's still get their luxurious salaries and bonuses at the end of the year.

It's better than another economic stimulus package borrowed from another country, especially an "Evil" one. Our Evil is waaaaay better than their Evil.

I don't think tax breaks for companies or corporate bailouts will work. The tax breaks, as we've witnessed over the past six or so years, did nothing to stimulate the economy. Corporate bailouts simply send the wrong message and just bail out the banks while leaving the citizenry still in peril.

Not perfect, but I'd like to think it would work well for my personal economic crisis.

Without using "douche", tell me. . .

2008-09-19T13:30:00.000-05:00

Okay, I've noticed a very strong libertarian streak on Multiply, which I respect, as I have a healthy libertarian streak as well (though not as much as most), and I was wondering if anyone could actually tell me what in the Hell Bob Barr stands for as the Libertarian candidate. Don't use douche, douchebag, or Cavalier d'douche Imperiale as I already know those parts.

While I've heard and read that I shouldn't vote for a major party candidate ("Republican" or "Democratic" - both are travesties on the usage of the words) and very often I have not, why should I vote for Bob Barr?

Speechifyin'

2008-09-04T18:54:00.000-05:00

Sarah Palin was an electrifying speaker, really?

Really?

I don't know. Seems like bullshit and shenanigans to me.

olympics

2008-08-19T07:18:00.000-05:00

Why does the Bahrainian sprinter look like a sperm?

More about Grover

2008-07-22T08:19:00.000-05:00

http://www.myspace.com/grover4congress

Ten Key Values of the Green Party
Current mood: awake

1. GRASSROOTS DEMOCRACY
Every human being deserves a say in the decisions that affect their lives and not be subject to the will of another. Therefore, we will work to increase public participation at every level of government and to ensure that our public representatives are fully accountable to the people who elect them. We will also work to create new types of political organizations which expand the process of participatory democracy by directly including citizens in the decision-making process.

2. SOCIAL JUSTICE AND EQUAL OPPORTUNITY
All persons should have the rights and opportunity to benefit equally from the resources afforded us by society and the environment. We must consciously confront in ourselves, our organizations, and society at large, barriers such as racism and class oppression, sexism and homophobia, ageism and disability, which act to deny fair treatment and equal justice under the law.

3. ECOLOGICAL WISDOM
Human societies must operate with the understanding that we are part of nature, not separate from nature. We must maintain an ecological balance and live within the ecological and resource limits of our communities and our planet. We support a sustainable society which utilizes resources in such a way that future generations will benefit and not suffer from the practices of our generation. To this end we must practice agriculture which replenishes the soil; move to an energy efficient economy; and live in ways that respect the integrity of natural systems.

4. NON-VIOLENCE
It is essential that we develop effective alternatives to society's current patterns of violence. We will work to demilitarize, and eliminate weapons of mass destruction, without being naive about the intentions of other governments. We recognize the need for self-defense and the defense of others who are in helpless situations. We promote non-violent methods to oppose practices and policies with which we disagree, and will guide our actions toward lasting personal, community and global peace.

5. DECENTRALIZATION
Centralization of wealth and power contributes to social and economic injustice, environmental destruction, and militarization. Therefore, we support a restructuring of social, political and economic institutions away from a system which is controlled by and mostly benefits the powerful few, to a democratic, less bureaucratic system. Decision-making should, as much as possible, remain at the individual and local level, while assuring that civil rights are protected for all citizens.

6. COMMUNITY-BASED ECONOMICS AND ECONOMIC JUSTICE
We recognize it is essential to create a vibrant and sustainable economic system, one that can create jobs and provide a decent standard of living for all people while maintaining a healthy ecological balance. A successful economic system will offer meaningful work with dignity, while paying a "living wage" which reflects the real value of a person's work.

Local communities must look to economic development that assures protection of the environment and workers' rights; broad citizen participation in planning; and enhancement of our "quality of life." We support independently owned and operated companies which are socially responsible, as well as co-operatives and public enterprises that distribute resources and control to more people through democratic participation.

7. FEMINISM AND GENDER EQUITY
We have inherited a social system based on male domination of politics and economics. We call for the replacement of the cultural ethics of domination and control with more cooperative ways of interacting that respect differences of opinion and gender. Human values such as equity between the sexes, interpersonal responsibility, and honesty must be developed with moral conscience. We should remember that the process that determines our decisions and actions is just as important as achieving the outcome we want.

8. RESPECT FOR DIVERSITY
We believe it is important to value cultural, ethnic, racial, sexual, religious and spiritual diversity, and to promote the development of respectful relationships across these lines.

We believe that the many diverse elements of society should be reflected in our organizations and decision-making bodies, and we support the leadership of people who have been traditionally closed out of leadership roles. We acknowledge and encourage respect for other life forms than our own and the preservation of biodiversity.

9. PERSONAL AND GLOBAL RESPONSIBILITY
We encourage individuals to act to improve their personal well-being and, at the same time, to enhance ecological balance and social harmony. We seek to join with people and organizations around the world to foster peace, economic justice, and the health of the planet.

10. FUTURE FOCUS AND SUSTAINABILITY
Our actions and policies should be motivated by long-term goals. We seek to protect valuable natural resources, safely disposing of or "unmaking" all waste we create, while developing a sustainable economics that does not depend on continual expansion for survival. We must counterbalance the drive for short-term profits by assuring that economic development, new technologies, and fiscal policies are responsible to future generations who will inherit the results of our actions.

Ten Key Values from other state and local Greens.
There is no authoritative version of the Ten Key Values of the Greens. The Ten Key Values are guiding principles that are adapted and defined to fit each state and local chapter.

Jason Grover

2008-07-22T08:05:00.000-05:00

I'm interested in finding more about him. The generalities of the Green I agree with generally, but I need more specifics. People talk about having a plan to fix this or that without specifics are usually full of shit, like most of the crackheads currently in office. It would be nice to see something different, so I'm posting links to Grover everywhere so people can contact him and educate themselves about something different.

He's running for Congress in my district in NJ, so out-of-staters can just ignore this, I guess.

I'll be following and reporting on Grover, methinks.

Wordpress question

2008-07-22T06:36:00.000-05:00

I was updating my Wordpress site today and ran into a problem. Created a couple of pages, no problem. I put two pages as subpages and suddenly none of my categories or links work. I did a quick search but haven't found any answers yet.

I spent several hours posting my published stuff on the site as a sort of writing portfolio and now it seems I have to redo a lot of the categorization. The files are all still there, the posts are on the front page, I can edit the posts and pages, but if I click on a link to a page or category, I get the stupid 404 I created.

Any suggestions?

QOD

2008-07-17T03:44:00.000-05:00

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."

Charles Darwin (1809–1882)
English naturalist and author

question because I'm feeling pensive

2008-05-23T06:09:00.000-05:00

If someone refers to someone as "the colored girl", is the person being racist? Is the person a racist intentionally or is the behavior ingrained that it's just comes out naturally? Is the ingrained behavior inherently racist? If they are able to change their wording, are they still racist (if they were in the first place)? If they have these issues of race flying through their minds when confronting an issue, does that make them evil or bad? Does it then make you evil or bad if you love that person (wife, mother, father, husband, boyfriend, cousin, brother, sister, grandfather, etc?)

I overheard that statement (about the "colored girl") at church last Sunday, and I don't think it was meant with any ill-intent, but the only way this person knew how to describe the girl in question. But it brought up all sorts of questions I asked to myself, which is why I'm posting it here.

I guess the question is "where does racism begin and end?"

George Carlin

2008-05-22T10:45:00.000-05:00

I still find him pretty damn funny.

meh

2008-05-14T06:06:00.000-05:00

I don't really believe in fate or mystical roadsigns, but I feel like I'm being nudged by events to do something for cancer prevention or cures or advocacy, or even advocacy in general for patients.

Dad's Health - More

2008-05-14T05:54:00.000-05:00

I doubt I'll update regularly about him, but every once in a while I'll post something.

Yesterday he had a port put in, a biopsy, and a feeding tube inserted into his stomach. Right now he's uncomfortably resting with the help of morphine, though I doubt it's enough. I'm lucky I didn't have surgery like that.

When the doctor says words like invasive, infiltrative, or metastatic, it's rarely a good thing. "Hey, guess what! You've got metastatic esophogeal cancer! Ain't life grand? Now shut up and empty your feeding tube." They still aren't sure if surgery is the right option on the tumor in his neck, but they are pretty sure about radiation and chemotherapy. Most likely an aggressive treatment of chemo and radiation in the same day, every day (or breaks from chemo). He'll be transported from the VA daily for treatment to Philadelphia. I don't know which hospital, but my guess lies with either UPENN or Jefferson. I guess there is a special arrangement with the VA about insurance.

Since my dad retired early, he hasn't had "insurance". He signed up for a health "insurance" saving plan or discount plan, but it didn't cover CT Scans or anything important. He isn't eligible for Medicare until November. However, that could change. Since he was in the army (late sixties), he was eligible for VA care. So that's where he is.

He is nervous, and his main concern is to be able to take his (oldest) grandson fishing this summer.

Ascendancy

2008-05-07T18:14:00.000-05:00

Just going through my geneology. . . I found a folder of geneology stuff that was sent to me by a distant relative about twelve years ago.

So I am Brett M, son of Frank R (Joan), son of Russell (Rose), son of Isaac Saunders (Mary Francis), son of James (Mary), son of Frederick (Phebe), son of Henirich Faber (Elizabeth), who was born in Germany (Pfalz-Rhineland) in 1721 and entered Philadelphia in 1747. Two of his sons - one being Frederick - fought in the Revolutionary War and are listed in the Pension Rolls.

That is all.

Need something interesting

2008-04-19T06:55:00.000-05:00

In my quiet time, my me time, I'm looking for something that might make me laugh or just might be interesting other than the crap I already do. I'm talking in terms of the old interwebs, of course.

I already read erfworld and OOTS and queenvic and check out Warren Ellis stuff every once in a while. . . Just looking for something new.

liquid hydrocodone

2008-03-14T05:01:00.000-05:00

I've been sick for a week now, but the really bad part of it didn't happen until a few days ago. Sure, the hacking cough and constant congestion is one thing, but to add a fever and Liqui-Poo? C'est magnifique! I called my doctor - my wife made me because I'm a stubborn dipshit - and I was prescribed liquid hydrocodone and Avelox. Annoying fuzzy head from being sick + dizziness from Avelox + falling down stuporificness of Hydrocodone = not moving from couch all night.

Right now I'm still in a haze of sickness, and the wracking cough is causing all of my intracostal muscles to moan with pain, but I was able to check email and do a quick post in between the sweet heaven of drugs.

Today's resolutions

2008-03-10T07:57:00.000-05:00

Resolution

I will stop referring to "Ten Years Ago" with nostalgia, especially when I'm actually thinking of events that happened twenty years ago.

Resolution

I will no longer create Dutch Ovens to torture my wife with, considering the horrible gas I've been having.

Resolution

I promise to no longer use sarcasm on my newborns, as they don't understand it yet anyway.

Resolution

I will only speak of things I know nothing about, much like political pundits.

Resolution

I will maintain the status quo, even if I don't know what the hell the status quo is or means.

Resolution

I will stop referring to Mike as the third member of the Lynryd Skynrd Revival Chorus.

Resolution

I will stop using the web/blogging as a way to keep me from doing things that might be useful.

After this post, that is.

I swear.

might be news

2008-03-06T13:16:00.000-05:00

I'm performing Damn the Cancer in April as well as holding auditions for Macbeth.

I know, who cares.

But wait, I can use my macbeth cast to film scenes for that damn webisode thing I've been yapping about for months or years. I will have readily available costumes, weapons, and 'actors'.

I have the swords already, well - three of them, as well as some costume pieces that will need to be resized, from the initial round of funding I received from my artistic, insightful, and intelligent friends.

you know you'd like to be included in THAT group. You know it and I know it, so just PM me.

cute baby

2008-03-06T11:07:00.000-05:00

Right, they're really cute when they projectile vomit across your bed and onto your carpet.

Michael has been having a lot of digestive problems, and the docs put him on soy. In a matter of hours, he was projectiling every bottle up, squirting liqui-poo, and generally cranky all night long. I blame my wife for calling the doc about his spitting - Johnathan was the same way. Aside from the spitup soaking he would give himself, he was actually sleeping from 11 to 7. Soy - every two hours screaming his head off.

And the soy makes him have a distinct Asian smell.

Suddenly, an idea hits

2008-02-13T18:39:00.000-05:00

The last post led me to talking it out with my wife.

She's a perv, too.

She thought it must be some awful discharge.

I thought it would be cool/tragic to name a band Pussy Sputum. Pronounced puss-ee. Problem is, they'd never be able to promote or publicize themselves in public.

Poor pussy players.

The importance of context.

2008-02-13T18:32:00.000-05:00

Pussy.

What did I just say/write?

Pussy.

As in Pussy sputum.

What what what?

As in you should go to a doctor because you definately have the flu if you have pussy sputum.

Puss-y. Puss-y. Get your damn minds out of the gutter!

Christ. You internet people ARE all pervs.

A fungus among us.

2008-02-13T16:41:00.000-05:00

Went to see my Doc today - local primary care doc. Good guy, actually went to grade through high school with him. Anyway, I was there to let him see my rash, which has gotten really nasty, burning, and itchy. I told him what was up, what my Transplant docs said, and he took a look and thinks it's fungal. Explains why steroids aren't working, and makes sense since I am not on any anti-fungal meds right now (see entry where I complain about Diflucan and my insurance covering 7 days only). I also regained use of my smeller today (after many many moons) and I noticed a cigarette odor that permeates the interior of my car, as well as a lot of other odors.

When I came home, my mother was there helping Steph out with the twins. She was also cooking something, which I thought smelled atrociously bad, Turns out that a mix of my smeller working and a fungal rash under my arms equals something not so good for my olfactus. Damn I stink.

Still having trouble getting my Prograf and Acyclovir. This time, however, it is my doc's office dragging the feet, leaving me without the meds they say I can't not have. Leads me to trust docs even less.

The boys have been cranky today. One cranky baby is one thing, but in stereo is a completely frustrating exercise in. . . well, dammit, I just don't know but it is frustrating. Just go to sleep. SLEEP!

I have an interview, excuse me, a PHONE interview for a job in PA, about an hour commute, but I'd be making some decent money, especially considering my current wage (disability plus whatever little bits and pieces I can scrape together with design - it doesn't pay the mortgage, that's for sure). He called today while I was tending to a crybaby, so I asked if I could call him back in 15. Instead, he offered to call back at 4. He never did. I'm sure he got busy. I'm kind of excited, though, my third interview in over one hundred applications. They didn't balk at my salary req's.

La-dee-da. I have some work to do, but I can't do it in fifteen minute spurts, it just doesn't work that way, and considering the boys today, fifteen minutes of time would be generous. Right now we are restraining ourselves, letting them cry for fifteen minutes before going in to see what's up. We've forgotten the way. I think I'll record some of this later and post it on a playlist for you all. So we're watching a Tivo'd Supernatural and waiting. . .

Michael J. Fauver has a large schlong. Seriously. It causes him to pee through his diaper at least once a day. The diapers are small because he was a preemie, but the problem is that his penis is too large and doesn't quite fit right in the diaper. A predicament now, but I'm sure he'll think a Godsend late in life.

Wait. . . I think it stopped.

Damn, no such luck.

I can't really concentrate on Supernatural with all this noise. Ha! I win, Steph went in first!

Damn, she's calling me. There are no winners with twins.

hell, why not

2008-02-13T10:43:00.000-05:00

http://images.cafepress.com/product/227681096v6_240x240_Front.jpg

I just don't know who to vote for. . .

2008-02-07T10:01:00.000-05:00

Taking what I've heard from reports and witness accounts of the unwashed masses, you can only vote for someone if you tie in to that candidate's demographic.

If you're black you have to vote for Obama.

If you're a woman, you have to vote for Hillary.

If you're a zombie, you vote for McCain

. . . a leprechaun (or goblinoid), Kucinich

. . . a ghoul/wraith/other undead flesheater, Giuliani

. . . a vampire, Romney

. . . a person looking to "Cross Over", Edwards

I just don't know where I fit in. . . I used to cross-dress occasionally, so do I vote for Hillary or Giuliani? I don't know. I would like to sspeak with the dead, so do I vote for Edwards, who had his own television show on the subject, or any number of undead republican candidates? The whole process confuses and baffles. I would like to just vote my conscience and vote on the issues, but I don't think that's allowable by law anymore. You not only have to affiliate with a party (generally, I like parties, especially with booze), but now you must subcategorize yourself. . . I dun lahk it.

so.very.tired

2008-02-06T19:00:00.000-05:00

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*huh?Wha-feedthebabieschangethebabiesgosleepbabiesgosleepnow *Zzzzzz

It's free as a download!

2008-01-28T22:55:00.000-05:00

My anthology of short comedies based on my experiences with cancer is now a free download for any who would like to read my chemo-crazed words. Please download it, read it, and write a little review for me (on Lulu) - I'd appreciate the feedback. I'm not beyond begging. Actually, you may have already read them in my journal entries. Still, it's free, and I'm granting permission for performance with no royalties, just credit and a notification to me.

Go here - lulu.com

My favorite part of Pinocchio. . . sadly, it wasn't in the Disney version

2008-01-26T18:39:00.000-05:00

The story of Pinocchio and the Talking Cricket, in which one sees that bad children do not like to be corrected by those who know more than they do

Very little time did it take to get poor old Geppetto to prison. In the meantime that rascal, Pinocchio, free now from the clutches of the Carabineer, was running wildly across fields and meadows, taking one short cut after another toward home. In his wild flight, he leaped over brambles and bushes, and across brooks and ponds, as if he were a goat or a hare chased by hounds.

On reaching home, he found the house door half open. He slipped into the room, locked the door, and threw himself on the floor, happy at his escape.

But his happiness lasted only a short time, for just then he heard someone saying:

"Cri-cri-cri!"

"Who is calling me?" asked Pinocchio, greatly frightened.

"I am!"

Pinocchio turned and saw a large cricket crawling slowly up the wall.

"Tell me, Cricket, who are you?"

"I am the Talking Cricket and I have been living in this room for more than one hundred years."

"Today, however, this room is mine," said the Marionette, "and if you wish to do me a favor, get out now, and don't turn around even once."

"I refuse to leave this spot," answered the Cricket, "until I have told you a great truth."

"Tell it, then, and hurry."

"Woe to boys who refuse to obey their parents and run away from home! They will never be happy in this world, and when they are older they will be very sorry for it."

We have hundreds more books for your enjoyment. Read them all!

"Sing on, Cricket mine, as you please. What I know is, that tomorrow, at dawn, I leave this place forever. If I stay here the same thing will happen to me which happens to all other boys and girls. They are sent to school, and whether they want to or not, they must study. As for me, let me tell you, I hate to study! It's much more fun, I think, to chase after butterflies, climb trees, and steal birds' nests."

"Poor little silly! Don't you know that if you go on like that, you will grow into a perfect donkey and that you'll be the laughingstock of everyone?"

"Keep still, you ugly Cricket!" cried Pinocchio.

But the Cricket, who was a wise old philosopher, instead of being offended at Pinocchio's impudence, continued in the same tone:

"If you do not like going to school, why don't you at least learn a trade, so that you can earn an honest living?"

"Shall I tell you something?" asked Pinocchio, who was beginning to lose patience. "Of all the trades in the world, there is only one that really suits me."

"And what can that be?"

"That of eating, drinking, sleeping, playing, and wandering around from morning till night."

"Let me tell you, for your own good, Pinocchio," said the Talking Cricket in his calm voice, "that those who follow that trade always nd up in the hospital or in prison."

"Careful, ugly Cricket! If you make me angry, you'll be sorry!"

"Poor Pinocchio, I am sorry for you."

"Why?"

"Because you are a Marionette and, what is much worse, you have a wooden head."

At these last words, Pinocchio jumped up in a fury, took a hammer from the bench, and threw it with all his strength at the Talking Cricket.

Perhaps he did not think he would strike it. But, sad to relate, my dear children, he did hit the Cricket, straight on its head.

With a last weak "cri-cri-cri" the poor Cricket fell from the wall, dead!

Allow me to introduce Michael and Morgan

2008-01-16T18:03:00.000-05:00

(Multipliers - sorry for the double post)
Michael James Fauver and Morgan Russell Fauver were born at 4:58 and 4:59 PM respectively on January 13th, 2008. Michael weighed in at 5 lbs 8 oz. and Morgan was 5 lbs 12 oz. These pictures were taken from 5:03 PM on. . .

We're so happy!

Steph is even happier that they're out and not kicking her anymore.

Michael cried from the moment he was out and every moment forward. Morgan opened his eyes right away when I held him and even seemed to smile (though I know that's not really the case). They will be in special Care until tomorrow and we'll also find out tomorrow when they will be able to come home.

It started at 4 this morning, when she had some spotting. She told her doc at the appointment (10 AM), and he asked why she didn't call. She explained that the nurses and midwives always told her that as long as it wasn't a lot of blood, it was no worry, so she didn't worry. The doc said, "Well, I don't agree, go to the hospital, we're taking them today." Fast forward seven hours later, and more boys!

- Brett

(photos posted on my Multiply page - http://brettfauver.multiply.com - Just Minutes Old!

Thought for my morning

2008-01-11T06:10:00.000-05:00

I was making a cuppa joe a few minutes ago and had a sudden thought - out of the 6 and a half years Steph and I have been married, 2007 was the only year I have been cancer-free. We married in July 2001 and by December I had developed the big-ass tumor in the middle of my chest (which I ignored for another four months). While 07 was still full of annoyances and about 50 doctor appointments and two hospital stays, I was without Hodgkin's. A cause for celebration, I believe.

Year One issues

2007-12-11T06:27:00.000-05:00

About my little journal post about my issues form a few days ago. . .

Apparantly, according to a Bone Marrow Transplant newsletter I received today, all of that shit I'm going through right now is completely normal and expected.

Well, fuck. . . I don't remember anyone mentioning that before.

It does help, just a little, to know that I'm not going out of my mind. Well, I AM going out of my mind, and it's expected, so I'm okay with it. . . I think.

It doesn't complicate anything, it just clarifies. Like butter. Like clarified butter.

December 10th, 2006 - looking back at Day +2

2007-12-10T09:47:00.000-05:00

Still moving forward, though slugglishly.

My eyes burn, my lips are still peeling, I am barely able to keep much of anything besides corn flakes down. My nose feels pinched into my eyes and I'm not allowed to blow my nose of brush my teeth.

Today, I am feeling worn down. I am just drinking sips of water with an occasional nibble on a cracker, but even that gets to be too much. I really want to go take a walk, and I probably will, though the miracle will be a couple laps - far from the mile I'd like to walk.

Concentration is slipping, too. Could be from all the interruptions. Best part of yesterday was sitting and listening to music for a few hours, letting myself drift to sleep.

I don't want this little funk to blow into a full grown malaise.

December 9th, 2006 - blog entry

2007-12-09T08:13:00.000-05:00

Day +1 (Saturday) Moving Forward

Dec. 9th, 2006 at 12:15 PM

The transplant infusion was completed at 7:30 this morning, and I still feel overfull from all of the fluids, despite the amounts of Lasiks being pumped into my system to make me pee.

I can't eat more than a handful of food without feeling nausea and my head feels very clogged. I made the mistake of blowing my nose, gently mind you, and all that came out were rivulets of blood choked mucous. Can't do that again, my platelets are really too low to mess around.

I've been thinking about life forward and how different it's going to be, how I'm going to have to adjust, and even create, my own new normal. Commas, wow. I'm not feeling very well right now, with the queasiness and stuffiness and fatigue, and the next 10 - 14 days promise to be difficult. I am being optimistic with saying 10-14 days of hell. In fact, I'm looking at a recovery that will take much longer than I ever really expected. I suppose it was just me telling myself that it really wouldn't be all that bad before I returned to a normal life. The next 6 months to a year will be very trying, and the time after that an unknowable. But it's really always been like that - unknowable.

I don't know how well I'll be feeling in the next couple of days for updates, but I'll try to let you all know what's happening. I'm going to take a nap right now.